So I am feeling so strange today. Not necessarily in a bad way, but just weird. Kylee had our THIRD baby yesterday and I just can't think of a name I want him to have. We are thinking about Camden right now but it just doesn't feel right. I don't know why.
Also, I love me new, but difficult, job at Northwestern Mutual. However, they are not giving me a few days to accomplish something that $1500 rides on despite my having had a child that was premature by a month yesterday. Strange. We'll see how that goes.
Life is just weird. I am not morbid usually at all, but I am excited for the next life when we can look back at this life and just so, "Oh yeah, that makes perfect sense now." Here's to hoping that day actually comes!
Monday, August 24, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
Making a New Blog
So I have decided that I am going to learn HTML really well and create a new blog. My goal is to have one with subpages that I can use to post posts on. So, for instance, religion would be its own page and I would post religious blog posts there. I would have one for sports, etc.
We will see how it goes. I realized I am quite interested in graphic design/web development/blogging so I figure I will give it a go and see if I can learn how to make a great page. Also, I would love to take my blogging more seriously and really try to post regularly about stuff I care about.
We will see how it goes. I realized I am quite interested in graphic design/web development/blogging so I figure I will give it a go and see if I can learn how to make a great page. Also, I would love to take my blogging more seriously and really try to post regularly about stuff I care about.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Helping Others - Example of Christ
I just read a blog post on this site:
http://theliberalmormon.blogspot.com/
The conclusion as to why the person became a liberal was because he heard the call of Christ to help your neighbors and love them. Interesting concept.
This is the interesting thing though, I think that any tidbit of information could back up any viewpoint. Where the rubber hits the road is in determining which viewpoints actually net the desired results.
I am a conservative (for many reasons) because I think the conservative approach makes it more likely for people to get the help they need. I think it is more effective and more food will get in the mouths of the most people.
A for instance:
I am emphatically against forced charity. I think it should be voluntary. The "goodness" or "badness" of our society is determined by the intents of our hearts and the love for our neighbor that we have. So if the government taxes us and redistributes the money we are still in the same spot that we were previously in. I don't think God will judge the world by how many mouths were fed, but by if we had a desire (and acted on it) to feed our neighbors. Forced charity is like no charity at all. I believe the words from the scriptures are that if you give a gift grudgingly it would be better if you never gave the gift at all!
I feel that if I redistribute my wealth (and I think almost all U.S. citizens have wealth!) it should go to who I deem is deserving of it. More importantly, the government redistributes wealth inefficiently. If you gave the government 100 dollars a very small portion of that would lead to getting food in someone's mouth. If individuals redistributed the money themselves 100% of the money would get into people's mouths. This is my biggest reason for despising taxes and forced charitable contributions.
Now clearly there are rebuttals to these premises. However, I feel as though overall, the net benefit of personal redistribution is greater than in forced distribution. You may get a little less money, but I think more mouths will be fed, and people will be empowered and have their eyes opened by having had such a personal experience in helping to alleviate the suffering of another. I think more often than not people hear that dems or other groups care about feeding the poor, that concept strikes a cord with them, and they decide they are liberal. I think quite often people hold on to slogans and sound bites which are given by political parties. I think many people wear the badge of a democrat because they feel it is the "nicer" political party. Their sound bites are convincing:
-we let people live how they want to live
-we love people
-we let people chose
-we care about actually helping people
All of these sound bites and slogans justify my position as a conservative. I think a further analysis is always needed to figure out which position really makes the most difference. If someone said they thought the liberal party made the biggest difference in people's lives I would disagree, but I would be fine with their position. But many people have no idea if their position leads to a greater amount of good being done or not -- they just like the way it sounds! They will wear the badges of all the previous slogans, hoping that it establishes their humanity and kindness, all the while not knowing the actual results of their positions. I can be included in this group at times, but I try and inform myself and figure out which position will bring the most net benefit.
How about you? Do you do the same? Or do you succumb to slogans and sound bites? I think the religious sound bites can sometimes be the most detrimental! It is my stance that more Christlike actions are accomplished by a historically more conservative approach. But I welcome dialogue.
http://theliberalmormon.blogspot.com/
The conclusion as to why the person became a liberal was because he heard the call of Christ to help your neighbors and love them. Interesting concept.
This is the interesting thing though, I think that any tidbit of information could back up any viewpoint. Where the rubber hits the road is in determining which viewpoints actually net the desired results.
I am a conservative (for many reasons) because I think the conservative approach makes it more likely for people to get the help they need. I think it is more effective and more food will get in the mouths of the most people.
A for instance:
I am emphatically against forced charity. I think it should be voluntary. The "goodness" or "badness" of our society is determined by the intents of our hearts and the love for our neighbor that we have. So if the government taxes us and redistributes the money we are still in the same spot that we were previously in. I don't think God will judge the world by how many mouths were fed, but by if we had a desire (and acted on it) to feed our neighbors. Forced charity is like no charity at all. I believe the words from the scriptures are that if you give a gift grudgingly it would be better if you never gave the gift at all!
I feel that if I redistribute my wealth (and I think almost all U.S. citizens have wealth!) it should go to who I deem is deserving of it. More importantly, the government redistributes wealth inefficiently. If you gave the government 100 dollars a very small portion of that would lead to getting food in someone's mouth. If individuals redistributed the money themselves 100% of the money would get into people's mouths. This is my biggest reason for despising taxes and forced charitable contributions.
Now clearly there are rebuttals to these premises. However, I feel as though overall, the net benefit of personal redistribution is greater than in forced distribution. You may get a little less money, but I think more mouths will be fed, and people will be empowered and have their eyes opened by having had such a personal experience in helping to alleviate the suffering of another. I think more often than not people hear that dems or other groups care about feeding the poor, that concept strikes a cord with them, and they decide they are liberal. I think quite often people hold on to slogans and sound bites which are given by political parties. I think many people wear the badge of a democrat because they feel it is the "nicer" political party. Their sound bites are convincing:
-we let people live how they want to live
-we love people
-we let people chose
-we care about actually helping people
All of these sound bites and slogans justify my position as a conservative. I think a further analysis is always needed to figure out which position really makes the most difference. If someone said they thought the liberal party made the biggest difference in people's lives I would disagree, but I would be fine with their position. But many people have no idea if their position leads to a greater amount of good being done or not -- they just like the way it sounds! They will wear the badges of all the previous slogans, hoping that it establishes their humanity and kindness, all the while not knowing the actual results of their positions. I can be included in this group at times, but I try and inform myself and figure out which position will bring the most net benefit.
How about you? Do you do the same? Or do you succumb to slogans and sound bites? I think the religious sound bites can sometimes be the most detrimental! It is my stance that more Christlike actions are accomplished by a historically more conservative approach. But I welcome dialogue.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Reciprocal Confirmation!
This article demonstrates the only thing that I find to be troubling, religiously. It is the hardest question that is asked as a critique to religious thought! In my humble opinion . . .
http://www.hatrack.com/research/student-papers/literature-and-belief.shtml
The reading is rather dense, but so worth the read. A BYU professor wrote the article. He was an amazing teacher!
http://www.hatrack.com/research/student-papers/literature-and-belief.shtml
The reading is rather dense, but so worth the read. A BYU professor wrote the article. He was an amazing teacher!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
So I downloaded Twitter today. I don't know why I finally decided to do it, but I did. I think it is things like Twitter that would take away the need to pay the cell phone companies ridiculous prices for texting. Texting is one of the few things in the world that has gone up in price beside the cost of making it happen being almost nil, and beside the technology getting older. I hate paying for texts. They are so useful though.
So Twitter is sweet. It is exactly like "the wall" in facebook except you share your wall with all the people that you "follow." So I get updates from Shaq, Dave Matthews, Major Nelson (XBOX guy), Jonathan Beutler (friend), Josh Knowles, and many others. If everyone had this it would be so nice, because then texting would not be as necessary.
Also, I am going to post another post soon. Probably on my inability to decide what I want to do in life. Law . . . or something else. We shall see. As of right now, I an not entirely sure.
GET A TWITTER ACCOUNT. Kendall Knowles is the one person in the world who I think needs to get it the most. He was born for Twittering!
Anyway, another time. It is 2am and I have pink eye. I think Jonah gave it to me!
So Twitter is sweet. It is exactly like "the wall" in facebook except you share your wall with all the people that you "follow." So I get updates from Shaq, Dave Matthews, Major Nelson (XBOX guy), Jonathan Beutler (friend), Josh Knowles, and many others. If everyone had this it would be so nice, because then texting would not be as necessary.
Also, I am going to post another post soon. Probably on my inability to decide what I want to do in life. Law . . . or something else. We shall see. As of right now, I an not entirely sure.
GET A TWITTER ACCOUNT. Kendall Knowles is the one person in the world who I think needs to get it the most. He was born for Twittering!
Anyway, another time. It is 2am and I have pink eye. I think Jonah gave it to me!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Weather
For the past week or so it has been in the low 60s, high 50s.
Today it was 70.
I really like Denver :)
Today it was 70.
I really like Denver :)
Friday, January 9, 2009
Urban Meyer Forgot the Little Guy
I don't like Utah at all. However, I will refer to them as Co-National Champions for this year. They are deserving of it. While they could have definitely lost to Florida/Texas/USC/Oklahoma in the title game they never got the chance to play for it, therefore you can't say they were not champions.
I think Urban Meyer is the problem. It is people like him that make it so nothing changes. Urban Meyer declared that Utah was the best team when he won the Fiesta Bowl in 2004. He was upset they did not get a chance to play in the title game. So what does he do when he gets an unbelievable chance to change that after the title game now? He says this:
"I'll tell you, we're going to enjoy a big win, we're going to enjoy the national championship, let someone else worry about that. Gators are No. 1"
To me that is despicable. Here is someone who had a perfect chance to declare that he is considering Florida and Utah the co-champs. It is a perfect situation for him. Obviously the official stance is that Florida will be, so it is a win/win for him. He can stay true to his previous comments and positions and stick up for the little guy.
Urban Meyer is the epitome of what is wrong. He is someone in a high position who can make change. Change will only come if people from the top advocate it. He had his chance and he showed his true colors.
The argument could be made that he did not advocate Utah because he was staying true to his team. I don't buy it. His team is clearly going to believe they are #1. The official stance is that they are #1. Meyer's had nothing to loose.
My guess: when people get to the top and don't have to jump over the hurdles anymore they change their tune. Especially in the BCS, because if they advocate a step away from the BCS they actually hurt their chances of going to a title game again, because there will be more competition. So he is like all people who forget the small guy when the ascend into the upper echelons.
I don't like Utah. I would still rather be a Cougar on a 0-12 season than a Ute on a 13-0 season. However, they are national champs this year, just as much as anyone else in this incomplete season. And, I am embarrassed by Urban Meyer.
Way to forget the little guy!
On a side note. This seems so incredibly unjust, this BCS mess. If this was anything other than football the ACLU and all other groups would be up in arms asking how we can so clearly create a segregated situation. This is absolutely segregation. The BCS is saying all the same things that old racists once said, "they just aren't as good as us" "they just can't compete" and many other things. These are the same things people said before, implying that blacks and other minorities were not up to the challenge and could not live "normal" lives like other groups of people (whites). It was a horrible argument then, and it still is today. I am glad Major League Baseball, despite the incredible disparity between haves and have nots, actually have a playoff system. If Major League Baseball had a BCS then Tampa Bay would have found themselves on the outside looking in. The situation is eerily similar to the BCS situation. The Yankees and Red Sox have better athletes, recruiting, facilities, and talent. Good thing the played the game though, because it turned out that Tampa Bay was a better team. As unfair as no salary cap is in MLB at least they have a playoff system.
I think Urban Meyer is the problem. It is people like him that make it so nothing changes. Urban Meyer declared that Utah was the best team when he won the Fiesta Bowl in 2004. He was upset they did not get a chance to play in the title game. So what does he do when he gets an unbelievable chance to change that after the title game now? He says this:
"I'll tell you, we're going to enjoy a big win, we're going to enjoy the national championship, let someone else worry about that. Gators are No. 1"
To me that is despicable. Here is someone who had a perfect chance to declare that he is considering Florida and Utah the co-champs. It is a perfect situation for him. Obviously the official stance is that Florida will be, so it is a win/win for him. He can stay true to his previous comments and positions and stick up for the little guy.
Urban Meyer is the epitome of what is wrong. He is someone in a high position who can make change. Change will only come if people from the top advocate it. He had his chance and he showed his true colors.
The argument could be made that he did not advocate Utah because he was staying true to his team. I don't buy it. His team is clearly going to believe they are #1. The official stance is that they are #1. Meyer's had nothing to loose.
My guess: when people get to the top and don't have to jump over the hurdles anymore they change their tune. Especially in the BCS, because if they advocate a step away from the BCS they actually hurt their chances of going to a title game again, because there will be more competition. So he is like all people who forget the small guy when the ascend into the upper echelons.
I don't like Utah. I would still rather be a Cougar on a 0-12 season than a Ute on a 13-0 season. However, they are national champs this year, just as much as anyone else in this incomplete season. And, I am embarrassed by Urban Meyer.
Way to forget the little guy!
On a side note. This seems so incredibly unjust, this BCS mess. If this was anything other than football the ACLU and all other groups would be up in arms asking how we can so clearly create a segregated situation. This is absolutely segregation. The BCS is saying all the same things that old racists once said, "they just aren't as good as us" "they just can't compete" and many other things. These are the same things people said before, implying that blacks and other minorities were not up to the challenge and could not live "normal" lives like other groups of people (whites). It was a horrible argument then, and it still is today. I am glad Major League Baseball, despite the incredible disparity between haves and have nots, actually have a playoff system. If Major League Baseball had a BCS then Tampa Bay would have found themselves on the outside looking in. The situation is eerily similar to the BCS situation. The Yankees and Red Sox have better athletes, recruiting, facilities, and talent. Good thing the played the game though, because it turned out that Tampa Bay was a better team. As unfair as no salary cap is in MLB at least they have a playoff system.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Another Quick Post: Grapevine Fires
So I have been listening to this song lately and really love it, if you want to listen to it paste this in the address bar and click on "play" next to the second hit:
http://sadsteve.com/search.py?q=grapevine+fires
Here are the lyrics to Death Cab for Cutie "Grapevine Fires"
When the wind picked up
The fire spread
And the grapevine seemed left for dead
And the northern sky, looked like the end of day,
The end of days.
A wake up call to a rented room
Sounded like an alarm of impending doom.
To warn us it's only a matter of time.
Before we all burn
Before we all burn
Before we all burn
Before we all burn
We bought some wine and some papercups
Neared your daughter's school
and we picked her up
And drove to the cemetary on a hill, on a hill.
And we watched the plumes paint the sky gray
As she laughed and danced through the field of graves
And there I knew it would be alright
That everything would be alright,
Would be alright
Would be alright
Would be alright.
And the news reports on the radio
Said it was getting worse
As the ocean air fanned the flames.
But I couldn't think there
was anywhere I would have
rather been
To watch it all burn away.
To burn away.
The firemen worked in double shifts,
With prayers of rain on their lips
And they knew it was only a matter of time.
http://sadsteve.com/search.py?q=grapevine+fires
Here are the lyrics to Death Cab for Cutie "Grapevine Fires"
When the wind picked up
The fire spread
And the grapevine seemed left for dead
And the northern sky, looked like the end of day,
The end of days.
A wake up call to a rented room
Sounded like an alarm of impending doom.
To warn us it's only a matter of time.
Before we all burn
Before we all burn
Before we all burn
Before we all burn
We bought some wine and some papercups
Neared your daughter's school
and we picked her up
And drove to the cemetary on a hill, on a hill.
And we watched the plumes paint the sky gray
As she laughed and danced through the field of graves
And there I knew it would be alright
That everything would be alright,
Would be alright
Would be alright
Would be alright.
And the news reports on the radio
Said it was getting worse
As the ocean air fanned the flames.
But I couldn't think there
was anywhere I would have
rather been
To watch it all burn away.
To burn away.
The firemen worked in double shifts,
With prayers of rain on their lips
And they knew it was only a matter of time.
State of the Matt Address
I was looking for anniversary cards the other day. Kylee and I had our 4th anniversary. We have been married a very, very long time. I like to give cards to Kylee, I think she is actually the only person I ever get cards for. I like her a lot, so it makes sense.
I was reading the cards and almost every card had something to the effect of:
"we have seen the good and bad times . . . "
I was thinking, yeah we have. Then I thought about it some more and realized I can't really say that is the case. Kylee and I have never really experienced the bad times. We have been in arguments, we have been mad at each other. But I would never classify those few occasions as "bad times." I wouldn't even say we have had any real big trials in our four year marriage (knock on wood - I am not asking for any).
I began to think about just the last eight years in general, since I was baptized. It has been great. Here are some things I want to bring special attention to:
1. Spirituality - this one is weird for me to talk about overall, because you guys do not live in my head - it probably wouldn't be that interesting. However, I think things are going really well.
2. Females - Well, one actually. I met Kylee and things are going great. I would say I have what I would consider an ideal marriage. Yes, it could improve, but I absolutely love it, and I think this is what marriage is supposed to be like.
3. Family - things are going overall well in this category also. Kylee and I have two superb children, we have lots of fun together and we love our extended family a great deal.
4. Education - this is one aspect of my life where I just step back and say "Am I really doing/accomplishing this?" I was an absolutely horrible high school student, and I am 2.5 years from graduating with a doctorate! That is crazy to me. Also, things went amazingly well. I got a total of 70,000/90,000 dollars that my grad school is paid for in scholarship money. Again, amazing. I hope I do well enough this year to keep the scholarship, but even if I don't, we have been incredibly blessed. The Lord helped me a great deal, I believe, to get a good LSAT score. It was something that when I look back at that time I can say I gave maximum effort and did my part for the Lord to bless me. And bless me he did - I got a good LSAT score in large part from the blessings of the Lord. I am truly grateful for his help in this section of my life, however, I often think that this aspect he helps me at too much, making me think that it won't be for me as much as this aspect will help others some day, in some way.
5. Physical Strength - I read the August 2006 Ensign First Presidency Message by Elder Faust about fathers (maybe September). In it he says that a man's first priority it to take care of his spiritual and physical body. I was surprised at how important he deemed it to be. He lists it in front of many things. I have not been doing so good in this category. I weighed myself the other night and I am at 187.5. That is the heaviest I have ever been in my life. I actually think I may have been 1.5 pounds heavier at the end of the mission, but you get the idea. My weight fluctuates so much. It is not a mystery as to why either--when I exercise I am skinny, when I do not, I am not. I need to do better in this category. I would say my ideal weight is about 160. I was 155 when I graduated high school, but I am a little older now and don't expect that. I am going to try to make this aspect a little better. However, it must be made known that I am very grateful for the health that I enjoy. I really have no health problems, which I really must acknowledge is an amazing gift from God.
6. Friendship - this one is easy. Kylee and I have the best friends there are. When I think about the people in my life, and the people we are closest to, I just am amazed at the quality of these people's character. Special mention must be made of Sam/Becky and Dan/Cindy. We have spent by far the most amount of time with these people and we cherish each moment we have spent with them. I really only miss Utah because this is where they live (and Cafe Rio). Growing up with Sam (and coming to know Becky) and living downstairs from Dan/Cindy are things that I am grateful to God for. Nothing makes life more enjoyable than good company. There are countless other people I would consider very good friends, but these are the people we have spent the most time with and as a result feel a special bond with. The fact that we all got married and had kids around the same time only further explains our bond, I believe.
So that is just a quick run-down. I feel like I have been so blessed. When I get a card for Kylee I want it to say thanks for making my life have few down times. I wrote in the card that I bought her that I was grateful for her and glad we have not needed to go through many really hard times. I also mentioned that she is probably the reason why. However, one thing that gives me great reassurance is that if those hard times ever do come, and they inevitably will, I know she will be there with me. She makes hard times seem not as bad.
Anyway, publicly, I am just a incredibly grateful person. Not only for the reasons I mentioned, but also for food, shelter, clothing and safety. What a blessing it is to not have to worry about other nations coming in and destroying our homes and generally taking away our peace and safety. This blessing, I believe, cannot be emphasized enough. Things are going just incredibly well. I wanted you all to know that, and give a shout out to our Heavenly Father, who I think is the Author of all that is good and desirable. I hope he knows that I am grateful to Him for these things also. I would consider myself, of all things, blessed.
I was reading the cards and almost every card had something to the effect of:
"we have seen the good and bad times . . . "
I was thinking, yeah we have. Then I thought about it some more and realized I can't really say that is the case. Kylee and I have never really experienced the bad times. We have been in arguments, we have been mad at each other. But I would never classify those few occasions as "bad times." I wouldn't even say we have had any real big trials in our four year marriage (knock on wood - I am not asking for any).
I began to think about just the last eight years in general, since I was baptized. It has been great. Here are some things I want to bring special attention to:
1. Spirituality - this one is weird for me to talk about overall, because you guys do not live in my head - it probably wouldn't be that interesting. However, I think things are going really well.
2. Females - Well, one actually. I met Kylee and things are going great. I would say I have what I would consider an ideal marriage. Yes, it could improve, but I absolutely love it, and I think this is what marriage is supposed to be like.
3. Family - things are going overall well in this category also. Kylee and I have two superb children, we have lots of fun together and we love our extended family a great deal.
4. Education - this is one aspect of my life where I just step back and say "Am I really doing/accomplishing this?" I was an absolutely horrible high school student, and I am 2.5 years from graduating with a doctorate! That is crazy to me. Also, things went amazingly well. I got a total of 70,000/90,000 dollars that my grad school is paid for in scholarship money. Again, amazing. I hope I do well enough this year to keep the scholarship, but even if I don't, we have been incredibly blessed. The Lord helped me a great deal, I believe, to get a good LSAT score. It was something that when I look back at that time I can say I gave maximum effort and did my part for the Lord to bless me. And bless me he did - I got a good LSAT score in large part from the blessings of the Lord. I am truly grateful for his help in this section of my life, however, I often think that this aspect he helps me at too much, making me think that it won't be for me as much as this aspect will help others some day, in some way.
5. Physical Strength - I read the August 2006 Ensign First Presidency Message by Elder Faust about fathers (maybe September). In it he says that a man's first priority it to take care of his spiritual and physical body. I was surprised at how important he deemed it to be. He lists it in front of many things. I have not been doing so good in this category. I weighed myself the other night and I am at 187.5. That is the heaviest I have ever been in my life. I actually think I may have been 1.5 pounds heavier at the end of the mission, but you get the idea. My weight fluctuates so much. It is not a mystery as to why either--when I exercise I am skinny, when I do not, I am not. I need to do better in this category. I would say my ideal weight is about 160. I was 155 when I graduated high school, but I am a little older now and don't expect that. I am going to try to make this aspect a little better. However, it must be made known that I am very grateful for the health that I enjoy. I really have no health problems, which I really must acknowledge is an amazing gift from God.
6. Friendship - this one is easy. Kylee and I have the best friends there are. When I think about the people in my life, and the people we are closest to, I just am amazed at the quality of these people's character. Special mention must be made of Sam/Becky and Dan/Cindy. We have spent by far the most amount of time with these people and we cherish each moment we have spent with them. I really only miss Utah because this is where they live (and Cafe Rio). Growing up with Sam (and coming to know Becky) and living downstairs from Dan/Cindy are things that I am grateful to God for. Nothing makes life more enjoyable than good company. There are countless other people I would consider very good friends, but these are the people we have spent the most time with and as a result feel a special bond with. The fact that we all got married and had kids around the same time only further explains our bond, I believe.
So that is just a quick run-down. I feel like I have been so blessed. When I get a card for Kylee I want it to say thanks for making my life have few down times. I wrote in the card that I bought her that I was grateful for her and glad we have not needed to go through many really hard times. I also mentioned that she is probably the reason why. However, one thing that gives me great reassurance is that if those hard times ever do come, and they inevitably will, I know she will be there with me. She makes hard times seem not as bad.
Anyway, publicly, I am just a incredibly grateful person. Not only for the reasons I mentioned, but also for food, shelter, clothing and safety. What a blessing it is to not have to worry about other nations coming in and destroying our homes and generally taking away our peace and safety. This blessing, I believe, cannot be emphasized enough. Things are going just incredibly well. I wanted you all to know that, and give a shout out to our Heavenly Father, who I think is the Author of all that is good and desirable. I hope he knows that I am grateful to Him for these things also. I would consider myself, of all things, blessed.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Potty Training and Psychology
Mikelle had not peed in her pants for about a week and a half. Even at night she was holding it. She just decided she wanted to be a "big girl" as she sees it. We were ecstatic. She would run in and tell us she had to pee or poo.
However, at Dan and Cindy's the other night Dan noticed that Mikelle had peed her pants. Ever since then she pees her underwear and then asks to go to the bathroom, alternating between being a "big girl" and not. It is strange.
I think it is something psychological. I think she did not know where she was or the bathroom situation at Dan and Cindy's house and peed her pants as a result of being in a strange situation. Now I think she has just come to feel like she has let us down or something, so she has given up.
Either way, I wonder what is in that little head. I really want her to feel absolutely comfortable and confident, and I hope that we are understanding her enough to meet her needs. I would be quite sad if I knew she felt like she had let us down, and was just giving in.
Hopefully we can figure it out.
Either way, I was dang proud of her for that week and a half. And actually still really am. She is a great kid!
She even got new undies for Christmas that she need to put on right away when she got them.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Knowing Jesus
Today we had an exceptional sacrament meeting. The Engel's spoke about coming to know the Lord.
Sister Engel shared the story about the man that comes into an office and sits down with an interviewer. The interviewer asks the man to tell him who Jesus is. The man tells him basic historical facts, and the interviewer says "but who is He?" The man then tells historical facts, but with even greater detail. Again, not the correct answer and the original question prompt is repeated. The man then says something similar again and then is invited to leave (nicely).
Another man comes in. He is asked who Jesus is. The man then gets on his knees and says "My Lord, My God!" And he recognizes that it is the Lord asking the questions. At least that is the most common interpretation. I don't think the interviewer has to be Jesus and it would still work well. Because, to one man he is a historical figure (even though they may relate parts of the story that imply He is divine) while another can just say that Jesus is their Lord and God. Either way.
I feel like the interviewer is Christ. The second interviewee recognizes that it is His Savior that he is speaking with and worships Him. Sister Engel shared the story quite nicely. She then spoke about many tender mercies that have helped her know Christ. Her talk, and testimony, were both very touching.
Then her husband, Brother Engel, spoke. He spoke about knowing Christ also. But when he spoke he had a rather unique, and quite beautiful, approach. He spoke about how he would know who Christ is when he returns because he has seen all the characteristics of Christ in different settings.
He spoke about how he did not see Christ create the heavens and the earth, but he has participated in the process with his wife, and has seen her create life. He said he will recognize Christ's creative powers when the time comes.
He said he has never personally witnessed Christ leave the ninety and nine to go after the "one," but he has seen his wife do it. He has seen her leave her kids on the first day of kindergarten, even though they were also nervous, because she saw a boy who did not have his mom there and was quite upset. She went and consoled him. He said he learned a lot about Christ that day, and came to know Him a little more.
He said he never witnessed Christ in His teenage years, but had many stories of how he saw Christ in his kids during those years, and how he learned something about Christ's patience during these times too :)
And he shared many stories about how he sees Christ in all the different ward members. Because of these people, he knows Christ.
I absolutely loved both talks. Both talks had the Spirit quite strongly in them. What a touching subject also. I go through phases of knowing Christ, probably like most of you. However, at this point in my life, I think I think of Christ as more principles than person. That may sound weird, but I think it is true. For instance, if someone mentions Christ I don't necessarily think of the person, but I think of the personification of certain attributes (clearly all very good attributes). I think this is a sad development. Although over the past . . . eight years . . . I have come to know Christ a great deal, I think my relationship with Him is starting to get lessened. I still believe in Him, have a testimony of Him, and love Him, but He is becoming less of a person for me and more doctrine and personification (not intentionally). I need to remedy this. I need to start that relationship again. I pray pretty consistently, but I need to more. I read my scriptures, but could definitely do it more. But most of all, I think I need to seek the Son of God out more.
Interestingly, I was thinking about Christ the other day and how he seeks me out. I remember when I was fourteen, not very religious at all, I had a powerful spiritual experience. My father and I were watching Stigmata. The movie is about a Gospel written by Jesus Christ himself. But it is covered up by the Catholic Church and the priest who the church tries to kill, once they realize what Christ's message is, never gets to share it with others. So he tries to share it through a women, and the women, as a representation of this message of Christ coming through her, starts to get the wounds of the Stigmata (the wounds Christ suffered when on the cross). She then, at the end, shares the message that is the opening verse of Christ's gospel. Here is the quote from the Gospel, as I found it on the internet (I haven't seen the movie since then):
"The Kingdom of God is within you, not in buildings of wood and stone. Split a piece of wood and I am there. Lift the stone and you will find me."
Although I may not find the movie very uplifting now, I absolutely did then. In fact, it is the first time I really remember feeling the Spirit. The strange thing is is that I remember feeling it only one other time, other than this time, before I was baptized. That time was the time I decided I wanted to change how I lived my life . . . and about two months later I moved in with the Knowles (which was one of the greatest things that has ever happened to me) and was baptized. I did not really know what the Spirit was then. In fact, when I heard her say those words, "the kingdom of God is within you" I started crying. I did not notice it, but my Dad said, "what are you crying for?" I did not know why. But I know that I felt so good. My heart burned.
I finished watching the movie with my Dad, that was about the end of it. Then I went immediately into my room. Alex was not living there at that time so I had the room to myself. I knelt down, which I never did, and prayed. It was probably the first time I had prayed in many years. My heart burned the entire time. I spoke with God with fervency and thanked Him for that feeling in my heart. I did not know what it was, but I knew it felt good, and I knew it was from him.
The point? I think God does seek us out. I don't remember being especially repentant at that point. I don't remember desiring to find out God. But even though I was not looking for God, he was looking for me. I needed that burning in the bosom that day. I need to know he existed. The movie may not have been especially inspiring (although I think aspects of it absolutely are) but it was where I was, and God came and found me. I do think the premise of the Gospel is true however. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is not the kingdom of God (hear me out!), the kingdom of God is within us, and we gather ourselves together at the Church and make it the kingdom of God. Without us there is not church, the kingdom, which is the testimony of Christ, is within our hearts and we gather together to make it present on earth. Obviously angels and resurrected beings came down or over or whatever, and ordained people to make it officially on earth, but we are the body of Christ. I think our Church would readily acknowledge that, but the fictional Catholic Church thought it would ruin them.
Although God seeks me, I need to seek Him. God will not force us, so if we are not making Him a part of our life, he will not (usually) compel us to do so. Which makes the moments we do seek Him out and find Him even more sacred and special. Following Christ has been, without question, the best choice I have ever made. Even when I am not doing so well at following Him I can still feel His love for me, and I can remember the sweet feelings of peace that I have felt when I have been especially close to Him.
On a side note, I thought a lot about the ninety and nine today while at church during Brother Engel's talk. When Christ goes after that "one" he does not leave the ninety and nine in danger, they are in a safe place, and he leaves them only to help others come and enjoy that safety and belonging with them. There is safety in His fold. There is peace there. And remember, not as the world giveth, but another kind of peace altogether.
It snowed last night and we had record colds today. We were all ready for Church and walking outside when Mikelle said her stomach hurt and the car seemed stuck in the snow. We were also running late. I thought that we may stay home today. But then I gave the gas another go and it budged and we arrived safely at Church. How many times does the car not budge, and I stay at home from a place that the Spirit resides at, like how it was in our sacrament meeting today at Church? I remember when sacrament was over I thought of how grateful I was that I had been there that day.
I know God lives. I feel His presence in my life often. Although my relationship with Christ is not as strong as it once was, my testimony of Him still burns bright. I know He lives. I know God and His Son live just as much as I know anything else in this life. And I mean that seriously. I know that God lives similarly to how I know that love is good. I know it similarly to how I know hunger. I have felt the sanctifying presence of God in my life, and I think when people feel that, they can never be the same again. I really love Him. I want to be more like Him.
But most importantly, I know he seeks me out, looking to bring me back into the fold with the ninety and nine if I wander.
His sacrifice is, above all, the gift we should all remember during this holiday time.
P.S. Sam said every good blog has pictures, so I will try to do my part from now on.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
"Reference Points" and a "G" Rated Life
So I got a wonderful Christmas card. It was actually beautiful. This is the link:
http://www.frontiernet.net/%7Ejimdandy/specials/xmas.htm
It has a fantastic message. But this one part made me think:
Entertainment: Joy, Peace, Truth,
Light, Life, Love, Real Happiness,
Communion with God, Forgiveness, Miracles, Healing, Power,
Eternity in Paradise, Contentment, and much more!
(All "G" rated, so bring your family and friends.)
From the mention of "Eternity in Paradise" I gathered that they were talking about the benefits of the party--what would come from it. But then it said it would be "G" rated.
I don't think life in the eternal realm will be/is "G" rated. I think that things that are Rated "G" are not really praiseworthy--I think they are actually neutral. Most of the "G" rated movies I have seen have been really dumbed down. Disney movies don't advocate much, because they don't have the opposition.
Life only becomes valuable when we overcome something difficult. It is like Satan's plan vs. God's plan. We needed to have the struggle to have the glory. Without struggle, adversity and trial there is no glory. So, I find it unlikely that following God and becoming like Him would be "G" rated. I think it would actually be rated R. God sees horrible atrocities. He sees suffering, incest, abuse, murder . . . everything. That is why He is God, despite His grudgingly seeing these things, He has no desire to partake of them. To be brought high, and appreciate it, you have to be brought low. You cannot recognize how high you are without something to compare it to. If everyone is high, you think you are on ground level, because you don't have another point of reference. So we have to see horrible sadness to experience amazing happiness. If we don't, we cannot comprehend what the happiness is.
It is like uniform motion. If you are moving uniformly with something and you have no other point of reference you do not know that you are moving. That is why we get motion sickness, our body is telling us something that our eyes are not seeing. I think reference points are incredibly important. We cannot know exaltation without having a point of reference to know what we are exalted from. The very word, exalt, means to lift up. We need to know that we were at one point down. You may say that "we get our reference point when we are on the earth, in the next life it will be perfect, we wouldn't need a reference point anymore." And I would disagree. We are going to become like God . . . hopefully . . . and that is an essential element of who God is. We will probably experience even greater moments of sadness in the next life, because we are experiences even greater moments of joy. There is opposition in all things. We will feel much more joy and eternal happiness when we see a soul repent and change, but we will feel loss like we have never felt during this life when a person chooses not to repent. We will have lower lows and higher highs. Life will not be Rated G, and thank goodness for that. However, I do believe that Satan's path was rated "G," and I am glad I escaped that future.
That is why I think, overall, many rated "R" movies stir people's soul more. They bring you lower at points, so they can lift you higher up at the end. You have a point of reference that gives you perspective. If you did not see the brutality in Gladiator, and his wife and kid killed (which surely would not be there in a "G" movie) you would not be as elated when he escapes the brutality of being a gladiator and when he returns to his wife and child. You would not feel as uplifted and edified in "Schindler's List" when you see him sacrifice everything for others if you did not see what he was saving those people from. You may say that they do not have to show those things for you to be uplifted. I disagree, you need a reference point and if you do not then you are not as edified and relieved after. Life is not Rated "G," and it is great that it is not. The actions of those who are righteous are "G," but the life and world they experience is not. You can have your actions be Rated "G" and still have a reference point--there will always be wickedness that you see, even when you are exalted. In fact, when you are exalted it is likely you will experience it even more.
Reference points are crucial. There is opposition in all things. To really "know" true happiness you must "know" pain and sorrow. To experience true elation in the soul that repents, you have to feel true despair from seeing a soul go astray.
And hopefully by seeing these atrocities, and by choosing a different path, we get to a point where our actions can be "G" in a Rated "NC-17" world.
But the original Christmas party invite was not trying to elaborate on reference points, or the nature of eternity (it kind of was). It was just trying to warm our hearts and give us perspective, which it absolutely did.
http://www.frontiernet.net/%7Ejimdandy/specials/xmas.htm
It has a fantastic message. But this one part made me think:
Entertainment: Joy, Peace, Truth,
Light, Life, Love, Real Happiness,
Communion with God, Forgiveness, Miracles, Healing, Power,
Eternity in Paradise, Contentment, and much more!
(All "G" rated, so bring your family and friends.)
From the mention of "Eternity in Paradise" I gathered that they were talking about the benefits of the party--what would come from it. But then it said it would be "G" rated.
I don't think life in the eternal realm will be/is "G" rated. I think that things that are Rated "G" are not really praiseworthy--I think they are actually neutral. Most of the "G" rated movies I have seen have been really dumbed down. Disney movies don't advocate much, because they don't have the opposition.
Life only becomes valuable when we overcome something difficult. It is like Satan's plan vs. God's plan. We needed to have the struggle to have the glory. Without struggle, adversity and trial there is no glory. So, I find it unlikely that following God and becoming like Him would be "G" rated. I think it would actually be rated R. God sees horrible atrocities. He sees suffering, incest, abuse, murder . . . everything. That is why He is God, despite His grudgingly seeing these things, He has no desire to partake of them. To be brought high, and appreciate it, you have to be brought low. You cannot recognize how high you are without something to compare it to. If everyone is high, you think you are on ground level, because you don't have another point of reference. So we have to see horrible sadness to experience amazing happiness. If we don't, we cannot comprehend what the happiness is.
It is like uniform motion. If you are moving uniformly with something and you have no other point of reference you do not know that you are moving. That is why we get motion sickness, our body is telling us something that our eyes are not seeing. I think reference points are incredibly important. We cannot know exaltation without having a point of reference to know what we are exalted from. The very word, exalt, means to lift up. We need to know that we were at one point down. You may say that "we get our reference point when we are on the earth, in the next life it will be perfect, we wouldn't need a reference point anymore." And I would disagree. We are going to become like God . . . hopefully . . . and that is an essential element of who God is. We will probably experience even greater moments of sadness in the next life, because we are experiences even greater moments of joy. There is opposition in all things. We will feel much more joy and eternal happiness when we see a soul repent and change, but we will feel loss like we have never felt during this life when a person chooses not to repent. We will have lower lows and higher highs. Life will not be Rated G, and thank goodness for that. However, I do believe that Satan's path was rated "G," and I am glad I escaped that future.
That is why I think, overall, many rated "R" movies stir people's soul more. They bring you lower at points, so they can lift you higher up at the end. You have a point of reference that gives you perspective. If you did not see the brutality in Gladiator, and his wife and kid killed (which surely would not be there in a "G" movie) you would not be as elated when he escapes the brutality of being a gladiator and when he returns to his wife and child. You would not feel as uplifted and edified in "Schindler's List" when you see him sacrifice everything for others if you did not see what he was saving those people from. You may say that they do not have to show those things for you to be uplifted. I disagree, you need a reference point and if you do not then you are not as edified and relieved after. Life is not Rated "G," and it is great that it is not. The actions of those who are righteous are "G," but the life and world they experience is not. You can have your actions be Rated "G" and still have a reference point--there will always be wickedness that you see, even when you are exalted. In fact, when you are exalted it is likely you will experience it even more.
Reference points are crucial. There is opposition in all things. To really "know" true happiness you must "know" pain and sorrow. To experience true elation in the soul that repents, you have to feel true despair from seeing a soul go astray.
And hopefully by seeing these atrocities, and by choosing a different path, we get to a point where our actions can be "G" in a Rated "NC-17" world.
But the original Christmas party invite was not trying to elaborate on reference points, or the nature of eternity (it kind of was). It was just trying to warm our hearts and give us perspective, which it absolutely did.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Faith . . . Marrying a Mormon . . . White Shirts/White
So I have had extremely faith promoting experiences lately. I want to preface with this because the latter half of my post is somewhat heretical.
I really enjoy following Christ. Honestly, there is so much depth that faith can add to your life. It can add so much more to how you love, how you forgive . . . all those things. The biggest thing that it adds to is probably family relationships. It transforms how people think of each other. I was talking to my Mom the other day and telling her that I could not marry a non-mormon. If Kylee ever passed away I would absolutely end up marrying a latter day saint. It is not because I think of Latter Day Saints as better, however. It is really because I don't think I could have as close of a relationship with a person who is not a member of my faith as I could with a person who is. To me, my faith is the most important thing to me. Also, I want to marry someone who believes that there is a prophet on earth today, and wants to follow him. If my wife was like, "listen, I am just not going to move to Missouri just because your prophet said we should" that would be incredibly hard for me. Also, if times become tough and I wanted to pay tithing instead of one of our bills, and she did not, that would not work in my mind. I would not be able to be as close to a spouse if they did not share my faith. If I could not come home from a fireside and tell them how my heart burned when the Spirit confirmed to me again that Joseph Smith is a prophet there would be a divide between us. Anyway, I just thought about that when I thought about how it adds to family relationships. Again, mormon women aren't necessarily better than non-mormon women, I just would get more out of my relationship with Mormon women.
But, now for the heretical. I don't think the color white has much meaning, at all. We always hear that we wear white to symbolize purity. I agree that we do. However, I don't think the color white actually makes a difference in anyone's life. I don't think it spurs anyone to righteousness. I think people would be just as righteous, overall, if our baptismal jump suit was black as if it was white. Same for garments, dress shirts for passing sacraments, etc. I can actually understand it for missionary clothes however. I think missionaries should not wear anything that distracts people from the message and makes them think about their clothing. I think uniformity for missionary attire is a very good thing. However, I think it almost does more bad than good to have white shirts. I think that it helps none (maybe for a few it does) and it distracts and causes many to judge. So overall I think it is net-negative, not net-positive.
I only wear white shirts. I only wear white garments (obviously), but I don't think the white REALLY does anything for me. I think that if they were red I would hold them just as sacredly (and I believe I do treat them sacredly). To me, this is one thing that is very traditional. Isaiah and other old prophets spoke of being sinless as being white like wool and snow and then people thought, yeah, let's have this be doctrine now. Although, again, there is almost nothing intrinsically spiritual about it. A white shirt is not innately better than a red shirt. I think they are both neutral.
But, I shouldn't be the one commenting on this, because I don't really think I believe too heavily in the "you show your reverance to God by how you dress" mentality. I do to some extent, but again, I don't think that anyone is any more righteous as a result of dressing up. I don't think there is correlation or causation. I think it is almost neutral. I think if we all started wearing regular clothes to church things would stay the same (although we now have the dress clothes being more righteous ingrained in us, so I think we really can't separate the two). I think I only feel better about myself when I wear a suit to church (and I do every Sunday) because we are told to culturally. I think if we escaped that I would be able to worship God just the same in regular clothes. In fact, I worship God at many times during the week, and I feel the Spirit quite strongly, and I happen to be in regular clothes. There does not seem to be much correlation with how I dress and how much I feel God's presence.
Anyway, I do have strong faith and testimony of God and Jesus Christ. I love this latter day restoration, and all of its attendant blessings. I mostly love hearing a prophet's voice, and knowing that they speak for God, and guide me to a path that will give me happiness. I especially love that Jesus Christ stood in the stead of my sins, suffered for them, and made it so I could overcome my numerous follies and sins. The atoning power of Christ, once felt, leaves a person forever changed. I am grateful for that power in my life. I am grateful for all these blessings.
I really enjoy following Christ. Honestly, there is so much depth that faith can add to your life. It can add so much more to how you love, how you forgive . . . all those things. The biggest thing that it adds to is probably family relationships. It transforms how people think of each other. I was talking to my Mom the other day and telling her that I could not marry a non-mormon. If Kylee ever passed away I would absolutely end up marrying a latter day saint. It is not because I think of Latter Day Saints as better, however. It is really because I don't think I could have as close of a relationship with a person who is not a member of my faith as I could with a person who is. To me, my faith is the most important thing to me. Also, I want to marry someone who believes that there is a prophet on earth today, and wants to follow him. If my wife was like, "listen, I am just not going to move to Missouri just because your prophet said we should" that would be incredibly hard for me. Also, if times become tough and I wanted to pay tithing instead of one of our bills, and she did not, that would not work in my mind. I would not be able to be as close to a spouse if they did not share my faith. If I could not come home from a fireside and tell them how my heart burned when the Spirit confirmed to me again that Joseph Smith is a prophet there would be a divide between us. Anyway, I just thought about that when I thought about how it adds to family relationships. Again, mormon women aren't necessarily better than non-mormon women, I just would get more out of my relationship with Mormon women.
But, now for the heretical. I don't think the color white has much meaning, at all. We always hear that we wear white to symbolize purity. I agree that we do. However, I don't think the color white actually makes a difference in anyone's life. I don't think it spurs anyone to righteousness. I think people would be just as righteous, overall, if our baptismal jump suit was black as if it was white. Same for garments, dress shirts for passing sacraments, etc. I can actually understand it for missionary clothes however. I think missionaries should not wear anything that distracts people from the message and makes them think about their clothing. I think uniformity for missionary attire is a very good thing. However, I think it almost does more bad than good to have white shirts. I think that it helps none (maybe for a few it does) and it distracts and causes many to judge. So overall I think it is net-negative, not net-positive.
I only wear white shirts. I only wear white garments (obviously), but I don't think the white REALLY does anything for me. I think that if they were red I would hold them just as sacredly (and I believe I do treat them sacredly). To me, this is one thing that is very traditional. Isaiah and other old prophets spoke of being sinless as being white like wool and snow and then people thought, yeah, let's have this be doctrine now. Although, again, there is almost nothing intrinsically spiritual about it. A white shirt is not innately better than a red shirt. I think they are both neutral.
But, I shouldn't be the one commenting on this, because I don't really think I believe too heavily in the "you show your reverance to God by how you dress" mentality. I do to some extent, but again, I don't think that anyone is any more righteous as a result of dressing up. I don't think there is correlation or causation. I think it is almost neutral. I think if we all started wearing regular clothes to church things would stay the same (although we now have the dress clothes being more righteous ingrained in us, so I think we really can't separate the two). I think I only feel better about myself when I wear a suit to church (and I do every Sunday) because we are told to culturally. I think if we escaped that I would be able to worship God just the same in regular clothes. In fact, I worship God at many times during the week, and I feel the Spirit quite strongly, and I happen to be in regular clothes. There does not seem to be much correlation with how I dress and how much I feel God's presence.
Anyway, I do have strong faith and testimony of God and Jesus Christ. I love this latter day restoration, and all of its attendant blessings. I mostly love hearing a prophet's voice, and knowing that they speak for God, and guide me to a path that will give me happiness. I especially love that Jesus Christ stood in the stead of my sins, suffered for them, and made it so I could overcome my numerous follies and sins. The atoning power of Christ, once felt, leaves a person forever changed. I am grateful for that power in my life. I am grateful for all these blessings.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Sin
So, what is sin. My friend had an interesting post the other day about how Nephi both lied to Zoram and killed Laban.
It seemed to me like the crux of the issue that he was getting to was: what is sin?
I find this question intriguing. I will give my answer.
For a person to commit sin they must do at least these four things, if I think about more I will add to this list later.
1. Do something that God does not want them to do.
2. Know that God does not want them to do it.
3. Desire to do the forbidden thing
4. Voluntarily choose to commit the act.
5. Commit the act (thoughts alone are tricky. Is it a sin if they are dwelled on, or is it automatically a sin. Remember, we have been told repeatedly that homosexuals are not sinning when they have a homosexual thought enter their mind. When does it become sin though? Jesus said when we lust over a woman we commit sin. There has to be some moment when it crosses the line. Maybe it is when we choose to think about it more, after it entered. This would go along with #4).
So those are my five things that a person must do to commit sin. I think if you do not meet all of these prongs you have not committed sin.
What do you think?
It seemed to me like the crux of the issue that he was getting to was: what is sin?
I find this question intriguing. I will give my answer.
For a person to commit sin they must do at least these four things, if I think about more I will add to this list later.
1. Do something that God does not want them to do.
2. Know that God does not want them to do it.
3. Desire to do the forbidden thing
4. Voluntarily choose to commit the act.
5. Commit the act (thoughts alone are tricky. Is it a sin if they are dwelled on, or is it automatically a sin. Remember, we have been told repeatedly that homosexuals are not sinning when they have a homosexual thought enter their mind. When does it become sin though? Jesus said when we lust over a woman we commit sin. There has to be some moment when it crosses the line. Maybe it is when we choose to think about it more, after it entered. This would go along with #4).
So those are my five things that a person must do to commit sin. I think if you do not meet all of these prongs you have not committed sin.
What do you think?
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Grade Curves
I hate them.
I think they really only help employers and the few people who are the top of the curve.
A big reason is because they don't mean much (this has already been much discussed, I acknowledge). I have done better than many people, in many classes, who were more gifted than me. I think it has a lot to do with effort.
But a bigger reason that I don't like them is because it makes everyone do more than is necessary. We are all studying for finals at our law school. We should not know these subjects as well as we are learning them, there are more important things we could be doing. But, because we are all graded against each other we all feel the need to learn the material more than we ever should. Each person is trying to get even the tiniest, incremental advantage compared to his classmate. It is somewhat ridiculous.
It does, however, benefit the employers. They know who the people are who are willing to work all day and night; these are the same people who will be living at the law school. While being at the top of the curve does not mean that you are necessarily more intelligent than someone else, it does say who is willing to put in ungodly hours. The employers need to know this. Also, employers don't have much to go on. A one hour interview doesn't really tell you much about an employee. A grade from a curve gives the employer that much more to go off. Despite some people's opinions that they are incredible interviewers, there is only so much you can learn about a person.
So I am not a fan of the curve. Even if I did incredible and was in the top 10% of the class I would still say that it made us all work way too hard. We all just want to go home. I wish we could all make a pact to leave school before 9pm, but then one of us would decide to get the advantage over their classmate and stay later, then we are all back to the grind, all day and all night.
I want to be my own boss. I don't want to ever have to burn the midnight oil like this again.
I just want to hang out with my family.
I think they really only help employers and the few people who are the top of the curve.
A big reason is because they don't mean much (this has already been much discussed, I acknowledge). I have done better than many people, in many classes, who were more gifted than me. I think it has a lot to do with effort.
But a bigger reason that I don't like them is because it makes everyone do more than is necessary. We are all studying for finals at our law school. We should not know these subjects as well as we are learning them, there are more important things we could be doing. But, because we are all graded against each other we all feel the need to learn the material more than we ever should. Each person is trying to get even the tiniest, incremental advantage compared to his classmate. It is somewhat ridiculous.
It does, however, benefit the employers. They know who the people are who are willing to work all day and night; these are the same people who will be living at the law school. While being at the top of the curve does not mean that you are necessarily more intelligent than someone else, it does say who is willing to put in ungodly hours. The employers need to know this. Also, employers don't have much to go on. A one hour interview doesn't really tell you much about an employee. A grade from a curve gives the employer that much more to go off. Despite some people's opinions that they are incredible interviewers, there is only so much you can learn about a person.
So I am not a fan of the curve. Even if I did incredible and was in the top 10% of the class I would still say that it made us all work way too hard. We all just want to go home. I wish we could all make a pact to leave school before 9pm, but then one of us would decide to get the advantage over their classmate and stay later, then we are all back to the grind, all day and all night.
I want to be my own boss. I don't want to ever have to burn the midnight oil like this again.
I just want to hang out with my family.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
How I Suck
Yesterday was Kylee's birthday. Kylee is amazing. She deserves all the good she gets. She also was raised in a very different family than I was.
I decided that I would leave school early on Tuesday and go out and get Kylee a present. I went to GAP and got her a sweater and a shirt. The shirt was a steal, it was on the clearance rack, but it was really cute. The sweater was just great, but way too expensive. I decided that although it goes against everything I stand for to spend 50$ on a sweater. But then I thought, maybe it will go really far to get it because then she will know that I will do things that I don't want to do to make her happy. So I bought the sweater and shirt and brought them home. I gave her the presents Tuesday night because I don't think there is much of a point to wait until the birthday. She said she loved them. We spent the rest of the night hanging out and watching movies.
I thought I had done well. I even fulfilled her mom's wishes to have me put toilet paper all over where she was sleeping so she would see it when she woke up (her mom's tradition). I had told her the day before that I had a ton of things to do that day and that was why I came home early the day before.
I don't think she liked this approach very much. I swing and strike out frequently. I think one of the most depressing things in life is when you give your best and it is not good enough. Some people say that it is comforting when they know they did their best. I don't subscribe to that mentality. To me that is the most depressing thing there is; I don't ever want to be just "not good enough."
The biggest part of the problem is that we have been raised with such different approaches to things. In my family it isn't even really noticed if we forget to say Happy Birthday. To the contrary, in her family only a parade will suffice when it is someone's birthday. I don't think either approach is necessarily wrong. It is just hard for me to make myself care about something I don't care about. I guess it is caring about something that matters to me, I do care a great deal about her, and if it makes her happy . . . but the difficulty remains.
I need to just really ask myself what it is she wants me to do. I do this, but I need to do it more. I did go home early and got her a present the day before her birthday. I have to study for finals, however. So because I did it that day I told her I couldn't do it on her birthday. Clearly, this did not fly. My logic is definitely not her logic. I need to ensure I see what she wants, not what I think is right or sufficient.
Anyway, I hate not being sufficient. I would rather think I lacked effort and that I was capable but lazy than think that I just didn't have the capability. I can see both viewpoints, but I hate knowing I have limitations.
I decided that I would leave school early on Tuesday and go out and get Kylee a present. I went to GAP and got her a sweater and a shirt. The shirt was a steal, it was on the clearance rack, but it was really cute. The sweater was just great, but way too expensive. I decided that although it goes against everything I stand for to spend 50$ on a sweater. But then I thought, maybe it will go really far to get it because then she will know that I will do things that I don't want to do to make her happy. So I bought the sweater and shirt and brought them home. I gave her the presents Tuesday night because I don't think there is much of a point to wait until the birthday. She said she loved them. We spent the rest of the night hanging out and watching movies.
I thought I had done well. I even fulfilled her mom's wishes to have me put toilet paper all over where she was sleeping so she would see it when she woke up (her mom's tradition). I had told her the day before that I had a ton of things to do that day and that was why I came home early the day before.
I don't think she liked this approach very much. I swing and strike out frequently. I think one of the most depressing things in life is when you give your best and it is not good enough. Some people say that it is comforting when they know they did their best. I don't subscribe to that mentality. To me that is the most depressing thing there is; I don't ever want to be just "not good enough."
The biggest part of the problem is that we have been raised with such different approaches to things. In my family it isn't even really noticed if we forget to say Happy Birthday. To the contrary, in her family only a parade will suffice when it is someone's birthday. I don't think either approach is necessarily wrong. It is just hard for me to make myself care about something I don't care about. I guess it is caring about something that matters to me, I do care a great deal about her, and if it makes her happy . . . but the difficulty remains.
I need to just really ask myself what it is she wants me to do. I do this, but I need to do it more. I did go home early and got her a present the day before her birthday. I have to study for finals, however. So because I did it that day I told her I couldn't do it on her birthday. Clearly, this did not fly. My logic is definitely not her logic. I need to ensure I see what she wants, not what I think is right or sufficient.
Anyway, I hate not being sufficient. I would rather think I lacked effort and that I was capable but lazy than think that I just didn't have the capability. I can see both viewpoints, but I hate knowing I have limitations.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Can Testimony Exist While Opposing Prop. 8
I have been reading a discussion board on www.deseretnews.com and I find the conversation worthy of some thought.
Some are saying they have a testimony, yet the First Presidency is advocating something that is wrong. Perhaps more importantly, they are doing it in the name of the faith.
Others are saying these positions are incompatible. What do you think? Can a person have a testimony of the faith and believe the First Presidency is going astray in this aspect?
More to the point, can the First Presidency advocate things that are wrong (as some believe), in the name of the faith, and still be God's mouthpiece on earth, as they are believed to be?
Can a person maintain faith in the First Presidency and believe that they are advocating something God is against? If you really believe that it is wrong to ban same-sex marriage, and that God is against it, can you really believe that the Prophets and Apostles are speaking for God?
Some are saying they have a testimony, yet the First Presidency is advocating something that is wrong. Perhaps more importantly, they are doing it in the name of the faith.
Others are saying these positions are incompatible. What do you think? Can a person have a testimony of the faith and believe the First Presidency is going astray in this aspect?
More to the point, can the First Presidency advocate things that are wrong (as some believe), in the name of the faith, and still be God's mouthpiece on earth, as they are believed to be?
Can a person maintain faith in the First Presidency and believe that they are advocating something God is against? If you really believe that it is wrong to ban same-sex marriage, and that God is against it, can you really believe that the Prophets and Apostles are speaking for God?
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Barack Obama's Acceptance Speech
I was greatly moved . . .
He is an incredible orator. If that was all he was he would still be laudable. But I think Barack Obama is more than that. I think, in many ways, Barack Obama embodies all that we have and do hope for as a nation. He is hope! I say this as someone who did not vote for him, but some things must be conceded. It is my humble opinion that Obama is a great man.
Now, there is a part where things get tricky. Barack Obama and I disagree on a good amount of issues. I think he has the best intentions, we must think this of almost all people I believe. The political commercials by both Barack Obama and John McCain really irked me. Many of them said something to this effect, "McCain (or) Obama is advocating ______, therefore he does not care about you, or working class families." That was so clearly, on both sides, bad politics and humanity. It is a tragedy when we take a position that someone holds and extrapolate that to mean things it doesn't necessarily mean. I believe, however, that overall Barack Obama has good intentions, he wishes the best for the country, and he is committed to making the United States of America better. So how do I navigate the next four (probably eight) years?
Here is an excerpt from Barack Obama's acceptance speech:
"I will listen to you, especially when we disagree."
I think he encapsulated one of the most important principles that can be espoused. We do not need to agree on everything. In fact, we can adamantly disagree with others. To bring it even further, it can be beneficial for there to be strong disagreements. What matters is our response to them. What do we do with these disagreements? Do we not listen as they are uttered, all the while formulating in our minds our response? Do we try to concede as little as possible to ensure that our argument still sounds the strongest? What do we do?
I am not sure about the best general approach. But I know what I do, I consider the viewpoints in the most favorable light that I possibly can. I look to accept them. I try to see their validity. But, after I do this (giving it the best chance it can get), I then compare it to the things I value most. After using both methods I then decide what is right. But, all the while, the most important principal is to listen.
This is where Barack Obama has it right, he is willing to listen. Nothing carries more weight than giving another's opinion validity. Henry Eyring once related this experience:
A professor of mine, Ray Bauer, years ago corrected me when I put the label of "irrational" on someone's behavior. He said: "Hal, you'll understand people better if you assume that people's behavior is rational, at least from their point of view. Try to see what they see."
Personally, I have been experiencing a lot of bigotry over my opinions lately. These opinions happen to be religious. I had one classmate tell me that despite the fact that he thinks I am intelligent and a good person, he does not think I should be able to vote. Mostly because my viewpoints are religious. This deeply concerned me.
How great would it be if we considered all viewpoints as rational. How much more unity would we have? How much less contention would exist? What a world it would be.
We could have disagreements without animosity. We would have less war.
Obama is a beacon of hope. He represents our continuing climb out of the dark recesses of racism, inequality and bigotry. He represents liberty, freedom and hope. Maybe even more important, Barack Obama gives hope to countless young people. Seemingly insurmountable obstacles of poverty, racial divides and entrenched mindsets can be overcome.
I disagree with Obama, but loved this quotation he repeated:
As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, “We are not enemies, but friends…though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection.”
Nothing is more powerful than hope and unity. While I disagree with Barack Obama on many things, I am filled with hope this day.
He is an incredible orator. If that was all he was he would still be laudable. But I think Barack Obama is more than that. I think, in many ways, Barack Obama embodies all that we have and do hope for as a nation. He is hope! I say this as someone who did not vote for him, but some things must be conceded. It is my humble opinion that Obama is a great man.
Now, there is a part where things get tricky. Barack Obama and I disagree on a good amount of issues. I think he has the best intentions, we must think this of almost all people I believe. The political commercials by both Barack Obama and John McCain really irked me. Many of them said something to this effect, "McCain (or) Obama is advocating ______, therefore he does not care about you, or working class families." That was so clearly, on both sides, bad politics and humanity. It is a tragedy when we take a position that someone holds and extrapolate that to mean things it doesn't necessarily mean. I believe, however, that overall Barack Obama has good intentions, he wishes the best for the country, and he is committed to making the United States of America better. So how do I navigate the next four (probably eight) years?
Here is an excerpt from Barack Obama's acceptance speech:
"I will listen to you, especially when we disagree."
I think he encapsulated one of the most important principles that can be espoused. We do not need to agree on everything. In fact, we can adamantly disagree with others. To bring it even further, it can be beneficial for there to be strong disagreements. What matters is our response to them. What do we do with these disagreements? Do we not listen as they are uttered, all the while formulating in our minds our response? Do we try to concede as little as possible to ensure that our argument still sounds the strongest? What do we do?
I am not sure about the best general approach. But I know what I do, I consider the viewpoints in the most favorable light that I possibly can. I look to accept them. I try to see their validity. But, after I do this (giving it the best chance it can get), I then compare it to the things I value most. After using both methods I then decide what is right. But, all the while, the most important principal is to listen.
This is where Barack Obama has it right, he is willing to listen. Nothing carries more weight than giving another's opinion validity. Henry Eyring once related this experience:
A professor of mine, Ray Bauer, years ago corrected me when I put the label of "irrational" on someone's behavior. He said: "Hal, you'll understand people better if you assume that people's behavior is rational, at least from their point of view. Try to see what they see."
Personally, I have been experiencing a lot of bigotry over my opinions lately. These opinions happen to be religious. I had one classmate tell me that despite the fact that he thinks I am intelligent and a good person, he does not think I should be able to vote. Mostly because my viewpoints are religious. This deeply concerned me.
How great would it be if we considered all viewpoints as rational. How much more unity would we have? How much less contention would exist? What a world it would be.
We could have disagreements without animosity. We would have less war.
Obama is a beacon of hope. He represents our continuing climb out of the dark recesses of racism, inequality and bigotry. He represents liberty, freedom and hope. Maybe even more important, Barack Obama gives hope to countless young people. Seemingly insurmountable obstacles of poverty, racial divides and entrenched mindsets can be overcome.
I disagree with Obama, but loved this quotation he repeated:
As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, “We are not enemies, but friends…though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection.”
Nothing is more powerful than hope and unity. While I disagree with Barack Obama on many things, I am filled with hope this day.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Submission v. Resistance
Which one seems more powerful? I asked this question to someone and he said he didn't know, "it would depend on how we are defining powerful." I think that is a valid point.
But I think both can be amazing tools. Submission can be very powerful when it comes to humility, our relationship to God, and ensuring the longevity of relationships. Resistance can be extremely powerful when we are speaking about doing things that are wrong, overcoming corrupt government, and resisting selfish desires. Both resistance and submission can have amazing consequences.
I am not sure which one I think is more powerful. I think they can both be amazing tools of change.
EDIT:
To add further, I am thinking about these things on a very personal level. I have the natural tendency of resistance. I always want to "stick it to the man" as Jack Black once said. I think I get this tendency from my father. He was quite the conspiracy theorist, and it rubbed off on me. So my gut reaction is resistance.
But the gospel of Christ calls for so much more. It asks us to submit, to submit wholly. This is one of my favorite addresses about submission, and about the Gospel of Christ in general:
http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-266-15,00.html
To me, submission is most powerful. I guess the question, in large part, really depends on what you struggle with most. If someone is quite timid and does not speak up for themselves enough I would guess that resistance would seem quite powerful to them. To me, submission is a holy quest.
This quest requires that I give up my will completely. That I take my will, put it on the altar, and let it be consumed. Of course, the real goal would be to make my will congruent with Christ's, but I think it requires that I first become completely open to letting my will be replaced.
I think the ultimate test in life is submission. Are we willing to acknowledge our complete dependance on God? It seems like those who find God, ultimately, are those who sincerely repent.
But I think both can be amazing tools. Submission can be very powerful when it comes to humility, our relationship to God, and ensuring the longevity of relationships. Resistance can be extremely powerful when we are speaking about doing things that are wrong, overcoming corrupt government, and resisting selfish desires. Both resistance and submission can have amazing consequences.
I am not sure which one I think is more powerful. I think they can both be amazing tools of change.
EDIT:
To add further, I am thinking about these things on a very personal level. I have the natural tendency of resistance. I always want to "stick it to the man" as Jack Black once said. I think I get this tendency from my father. He was quite the conspiracy theorist, and it rubbed off on me. So my gut reaction is resistance.
But the gospel of Christ calls for so much more. It asks us to submit, to submit wholly. This is one of my favorite addresses about submission, and about the Gospel of Christ in general:
http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-266-15,00.html
To me, submission is most powerful. I guess the question, in large part, really depends on what you struggle with most. If someone is quite timid and does not speak up for themselves enough I would guess that resistance would seem quite powerful to them. To me, submission is a holy quest.
This quest requires that I give up my will completely. That I take my will, put it on the altar, and let it be consumed. Of course, the real goal would be to make my will congruent with Christ's, but I think it requires that I first become completely open to letting my will be replaced.
I think the ultimate test in life is submission. Are we willing to acknowledge our complete dependance on God? It seems like those who find God, ultimately, are those who sincerely repent.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Followers
So I added the web widget to the right that lets people be viewed as "followers" to the blog. I think it is funny that they call it that. Especially because I post about mostly religious things, and "followers" has an interesting connotation when it comes to religious stuff. Maybe I will change it to, people who follow this blog to avoid confusion. And it may not matter much, as it seems many of the "followers" haven't noticed the part of the page or cared to become a "follower:
Anyway, I think it is a fun way to notify people which blogs you read and who reads your blogs.
Anyway, I think it is a fun way to notify people which blogs you read and who reads your blogs.
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